Two tips

Nurofen is great to relieve the inflammation associated with a punctured sphincter. Tendency to cause gastro-intestinal bleeding, so need to be very careful. One after each bowel movement eases the discomfort considerably, however. So ends my service to the web searching community.

Second tip, your 31st birthday is much less traumatic than your 30th. Even if your body seems to be falling apart beneath you.

Third tip, be nice to your mother.

That's a bonus one because it's my birthday. :)